Tag:Bobby Valentine
Posted on: November 30, 2011 1:25 pm

Be My Valentine

The Top Ten Advantages of Bobby Valentine being the new Red Sox manager:

Bobby V...

  • Is well rested    (He hasn't coached in a few years)
  • Is conversant in archane languages like Bahsdinese   (from his time in Japan, Queens... and Texas)
  • Has experience with futility     (coached the Mets)
  • Understands practical disinfection methods    (Director of Public Safety & Health for the city of Stamford, Connecticut)
  • Is familiar with unlucky breaks     (suffered a multiple compound leg fracture)
  • Knows 1st hand about knuckleheads    (fired by George W. Bush)
  • Won't need to wear a bag over his head   (Was ejected for arguing a call and returned to the dugout an inning later in a disguise - a fake moustache. Unamused, MLB fined Valentine $5,000 and suspended him for three games.)
  • His karma can run over Josh Beckett's dogma    (was the subject of the ESPN Films documentary "The Zen of Bobby V.")
  • Will deep six the buckett of cluck   (He claims to have invented the Wrap sandwich)

But most fitting and importantly, he loves epic season ending collapses - and now they're in his genes:   (Valentine is married to the daughter of former Brooklyn Dodgers pitcher Ralph Branca)

Good times.

Category: MLB
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